This is the stupidest ever!!!!!!!!!!!?

I know this sounds soo GAY dont think of me as gay, because ill never ever be gay, because i love girls.but does ne1 ever have illusions in their head of themselves being gay with someone, or like say wow what if i WAS gay but even though i truly know im not. even of how disgdsting it sounds, i get these things that go through my head that i want to leave but don't. Im still straight and get horny off girls but i just dont want to think these weird illusion this disgusting way. im the farthest thing away from gay. I actually have a girlfriend and make out with her alot, but its liek i have this cared feeling every time i think of gay. Maybe becasue i make fun of gays all the time, but its like i get scared just thiknig about the word gay. im only like 15. Its sort of like you illsuion bad things like u murdering or dying or having some kind of illness. Its like that. And you start having anxiety about it, because youll never want it to happen to you. What should i do to make it go away