I feel very protective of my kittens?

Okay on wednesday night my cat had 5 kittens I fell inlove with them like always but the next night I was in my room with music going so after a while I decided to check on them they all looked fine but then I noticed one kittens paw was caught under a box I thought he was fine but I picked him up & he was already gone I was seriously in the worst state by then I couldnt stop crying & saying im so sorry it was horrible but that night I couldnt leave the rest of the kittens where they were because I might have been afraid of what could happen to them so I decided to take them in my room my cat adapted thankfully but I was awake for ages just worrying every like 10 minutes if I heard a squark I would pick my ipod up & shine its light then I would immediately lean over my bedside to see if they were okay I did it around 6 times that night until I was asleep they just mean so much to me & I care about them my sleeping pattern only just got back to normal the night they were born after weeks of no energy or motivation & now I couldnt give a s*hit about sleep because I want to take care of them I just dont want it to happen again. I couldnt live with myself for it.